"Do you speak Vietnamese?"

It's the end of the day on a Tuesday. The clock hits 6:00 p.m., and I launch out of the office in hopes of catching the 6:02 p.m. As per usual, I miss the bus. So, I stand at the bus stop with my headphones in. I do love music, but that is not the real reason for listening to it at the bus stop. Having my ipod blasting is an avoidance mechanism above all. With my headphones in, it is clear to the surrounding public that I am not interested in any sort of interactions. If they don't get that and try to speak to me, then I am still safe because, "I can't hear". It's all apart of my meticulously laid out plan to avoid the crazies. Sometimes, though, it just doesn't work.

So, I'm standing on the corner and I see this man across the street. He is walking briskly. So quickly, in fact, that his every movement seems to be a twitch. From across the street, he makes eye contact with me. When the little man lights up on the crosswalk, he twitches my way. In my head, I am of course thinking, "Oh shit, he is totally coming to talk to me." Obvs.

He walks directly up to me, making it impossible to ignore him. I remove my headphones and listen to him. His speech is clearly disjointed and he says something about being an honest person and just needing a couple bucks. Usually I say no to people who ask for cash, as I myself am also strapped for cash. However, once in a while, if I have it on me, I will give it to the person. Do you remember that story from Sunday school where there is a beggar on the rode and everyone ignores him, and it ends up being Jesus (or something like that)? Well, I would hate to screw over the Son of God, so sometimes I give the crazies my cash. This was one of those times.

Usually the convo ends with the monetary exchange. This was NOT one of those times. Instead, the tweaking man asked me if I knew Vietnamese. You know, because so many middle class white girls do. I informed him that I did not. He then started to "speak in Vietnamese" to me. I put this in quotes because I know damn well that was not Vietnamese. I feel like I can say this with confidence for two reasons: 1. My best friend is Vietnamese, and after having spent substantial time with her and her family, I may not speak the language, but I have an idea of what it sounds like; and 2. This dude was CRAZY. And black.

I stood there and stared at him. He didn't stop. For like a solid 2 minutes. I even did the dodgy eye thing as a non-verbal to let him know that I felt uncomfortable. But the thing about crazy people is that they lack the capacity to pick up on non-verbals.

Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the #20, my beacon of hope, streaming down Congress. I motioned toward my bus and said I had to go. He then grabbed for my arm and said, "You are a princess. A princess! God bless you!"

As crazy as he was, I couldn't argue with that. :-)